Essay ~ Parenting Styles of Harry Potter Characters

Explanation: Recently I have been learning about the four parenting styles, which are approaches taken by parents in raising a child. If you are not familiar with these styles, I would strongly suggest reading this article before this essay.

That being said, I have written an essay about the parenting styles of 4 different characters in the Harry Potter series. The essay is below.

1. What are Vernon and Petunia Dursley’s parenting styles toward their son Dudley? 

Well, they are certainly not Authoritarian parents. These types of parents have very strict rules and guidelines for their kids and often will not listen to what their children have to say. They can be very stubborn and set in their ways as parents, and if their children fail to meet their high expectations, they will punish and reprimand the child, often leading to low self-esteem. The Dursleys are the opposite of this. They don’t have enough rules for their son Dudley, and they often are far too lenient with the rules. Because of this, I believe that they both actually prefer Permissive parenting styles for Dudley. Permissive parents tend to not have too much structure or rules, or at least they don’t enforce them. They have a reputation for “spoiling” their children and they don’t give consequences to their children often. They let their child get away with many things. This is definitely true with the Dursleys for Dudley. One example of this is when, on Dudley’s birthday, he gets angry that he has one less present than last year, and so his parents promise to get him two more. 

2. What are Vernon and Petunia Dursley’s parenting styles toward their nephew Harry?

Vernon and Petunia are much less lenient with Harry than they are with Dudley. They don’t seem to care about him nearly as much as Dudley and they are far too harsh on him, punishing him severely for every little thing he does wrong. At first glance, the Dursleys may seem like they use Uninvolved parenting styles toward Harry because they don’t pay attention to him and even forget about his birthday sometimes. But actually, it might make more sense for them to be Authoritarian parents. Think about it: they have extremely high expectations for him and they punish him often. They don’t listen to what he thinks of their rules and how they treat him. Putting it harshly, Authoritarian parents don’t tend to care as much about how their child feels. This is shown especially when the Dursleys put bars over Harry’s room one year and only give him food once a day. They are clearly scared of his powers and want nothing to do with him, though, which could also be an Uninvolved parent trait. They both seem to be a pretty even blend of the two, but if I had to choose I would say that they are each an unhealthy extreme version of the Authoritarian parenting style when it comes to Harry.

3. What would Voldemort’s parenting style be?

It’s quite clear that Voldemort probably would not have the best tactics for raising a child based on his actions in the Harry Potter books and movies. I immediately thought he would either be an Uninvolved parent or an Authoritarian parent. I think Uninvolved because he never showed any interest in a connection with another person. He mostly just cares about himself and slowly lets his power-hungriness and obsession with immortality take over him. However, in theory, if he actually cared about raising a child, he would certainly be an Authoritarian parent because he would have very strict guidelines and probably would force the child into being a Death Eater. He wouldn’t really care what the child thought but would care more about raising a child as cold, ruthless, and manipulative as he is. But realistically, I don’t think he actually would care about raising a child. As I said, human connection and relationships mean nothing to him. An example of this is that even though Bellatrix Lestrange seems to constantly be trying at a closer relationship with Voldemort, he consistently turns her away. And in Harry and Voldemort’s final showdown in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Harry asks Voldemort to consider showing remorse for anything he’s done, and, “Of all the things that Harry had said to him, beyond any revelation or taunt, nothing had shocked Voldemort like this.”

One final example that Voldemort would be an Uninvolved parent is that he seems to have no concept of love. When Harry’s mother, Lily, sacrifices herself for Harry when he is a baby, Voldemort disregards her pleads not to kill Harry and clearly has no respect for a parent’s love. As Dumbledore repeatedly tells Harry, something that Voldemort could never comprehend is love. That is one of his biggest weaknesses. Voldemort taunts Harry in their final showdown, saying, “Is it love again? Dumbledore’s favorite solution, love, which he claimed conquered death, though love did not stop him falling from the tower and breaking like an old waxwork? Love, which did not prevent me stamping out your Mudblood mother like a cockroach…”

I have one more thing to add. In Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the spin-off play based on the events after the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it is revealed that Voldemort actually did have a child, and he neglected her for her whole life. He never actually paid attention to her until she found him. Some people do not consider that play to be part of the Harry Potter canon, but nevertheless, there is tons of evidence as to why Voldemort would be an Uninvolved parent.

4. What is Dumbledore’s parenting style towards Harry?

This is a very complicated question to answer, partially because of the varying opinions that the fans of the Harry Potter franchise have about Dumbledore. Dumbledore seems to have a close relationship with Harry, favoring him over most other students, but when you think about it, he was only truly getting close to Harry because he knew he had to tell him about Voldemort so he could hunt the Horcruxes and eventually die himself. That is not necessarily a bad thing, because in some ways it had to be done, but there was a very specific circumstantial reason for this relationship. Dumbledore is often portrayed as a father figure to Harry, like the father he never grew up with. And Dumbledore himself told Harry that the reason he never told him that Harry himself was a Horcrux was that the two had formed a bond and Dumbledore could never bring himself to tell Harry. There is definitely a connection between these two. But it is a complex relationship, so that is why I will use the process of elimination to break it down.  

Let’s start with what he obviously isn’t: An Uninvolved parent. Uninvolved parents tend to not really care about their children. They don’t enforce rules, but they don’t give their children what they want, either. They might not listen to their children or know much about what is going on in their child’s life at any given time, and they may not play a big part in their child’s life. Dumbledore plays a huge part in Harry’s life, and he always keeps a watchful eye on him. If anything, Dumbledore was TOO involved in Harry’s life. He arranged frequent meetings with Harry and devised an elaborate plan that relied on Harry’s eventual death.

Now that we have ruled out that parenting style, let’s move on to the Permissive parenting style. Dumbledore is also clearly not a Permissive type in my opinion. As I’ve stated, Permissive parents don’t have enough rules or standards for their children and can be easily convinced into something by their children. Dumbledore has clear standards for Harry, like when he asks Harry to retrieve a memory from his teacher, Horace Slughorn, and he reprimands Harry for not getting it sooner. I believe that if Dumbledore were a Permissive parent, he wouldn’t have sent Harry to the Dursleys because he knew Harry wouldn’t be happy with it. Dumbledore didn’t mind so much if Harry got angry at him, and he knew he had to do what was necessary. So I think we can rule out the Permissive parenting style for Dumbledore. 

That being said, I do not think Dumbledore uses the Authoritarian style, either. As I have said, Authoritarian parents are too strict. They have too many rules for their children and their standards are too high. They tend to not listen to their children, and instead stubbornly insist on their expectations. Dumbledore certainly has rules, expectations, and boundaries for Harry, but he is gentle about enforcing them. And, in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, when Harry is furious at Dumbledore for letting Sirius Black die, Dumbledore does not retaliate. He gently tries to calm Harry down and help him understand what is going on, and he doesn’t even try to defend his case. “I know how you are feeling, Harry… The pain is part of being human…” he says to Harry, and although Harry doesn’t listen, he is making a clear effort to empathize with Harry. He even tells Harry why it is his fault that Sirius died.

For these reasons, I believe that Dumbledore uses the Authoritative parenting style toward Harry. Authoritative parents enforce clear rules and guidelines for their children, but they also empathize and talk to them, and when their children fail to meet their expectations, they try to work out why it happened and gently help their children to succeed in the future. Dumbledore consistently uses this style toward Harry in the books.

In conclusion, I believe that Vernon and Petunia Dursley use a Permissive style towards their son Dudley, whereas they use an Authoritarian style towards their nephew Harry. I think that Voldemort would use the Uninvolved parenting style if he had a child, and Dumbledore uses the Authoritative style towards Harry.

What do you think about this? Tell me in the comments below.